What I mean when I say Joy is war
It was January 2018, I had ‘smuggled’ myself to Lagos from the UK for a 50-minute meeting in Abuja the next day. I did not inform most of my friends and colleagues that I was coming to Lagos but I told my family and one other person. The next morning I was in Abuja, the meeting was shorter than I expected.
Seeing how I would have one or two days left in Lagos before returning to the UK, I told a few friends to come around, let’s meet up and catch up before I disappear for another 10 months.
One of the nights, I went to the cinema with a friend, we had a nice time watching a movie I can barely remember now. I returned to the hotel, called her to find out if she got home safe (I can hear her saying she was the one who called me. But who do you believe? Me of course).
The following day, I was to return to the UK with the popular past 11 pm British Airways flight from Lagos to London. My brother and his wife came visiting before I left. We spoke about beautiful things and worried about nothing as I packed my bags.
It was time to go.
My brother asked me to check all my documents again. By the way, my brother is unlike me, he over plans and over-delivers. Every one of my friends who have met or heard of him, like him a lot. They want me to be like him, but yunno. Not gonna work.
Passport, check.
Ticket, check.
Visa, or what they call BRP (Biometric Resident Permit), uncheckable.
It was missing. Nowhere to be found. I was sure I kept it somewhere, but I checked everywhere and found nothing. Nothing at all. We turned the hotel room upside-down. Nothing. We checked the cars that received me at the airport. Nothing.
This was an executive trip — one of the really few ones I’ve had— so the drivers and the protocol officers taking me to the airport were around. They joined in searching everywhere, but we found nothing. At this point, they started blaming me, asking me where I left it, how can I be so careless. You know how much older people can be. My brother and his wife stayed positive. But as pragmatic people, they started seeking alternatives.
The alternative was to apply for another visa. The fastest would take two weeks. I had assessments to turn in at school (in the UK) in a few days. A new one would cost nearly A MILLION NAIRA. While my trip was funded, I did not have any extra dime to cough up for “unforeseen circumstances”.
DEPRESSION AT THE DOOR
I could feel my heart sink. My mind became an immediate mess. My heart was racing like it would break my ribcage and come forth. Many voices in the room were blaming me and making matters worse. I was sweating profusely, and thinking about the implications of what they regarded as my sloppiness or foolishness. If we don't leave the hotel in 30 minutes, I would not be on that BA flight. A beautiful short trip to Nigeria had become a nightmare.
I could feel depression knocking on my heart. All the happiness I had from this trip disappeared in seconds. I could not believe what was happening. I started thinking maybe I was the one who was indeed careless. Mayowa, what have you done? As I began to feel worse, the lessons I had learnt through life kicked in — almost automatically.
As the room got gloomy, I burst into laughter, and laughed and laughed and laughed. Two thoughts must have rung through the room that day; “he’s lost his mind” versus “he’s found the visa”. To be sure, they asked, “what happened”. I kept on laughing and did not answer them. I laughed for almost five minutes.
Through that time, I had begun to pray under my breath and kept laughing. My brother told everyone to leave me, and keep looking for the BRP. That I was fine.
First thing that happened was that my body started to stabilise; my heart thought I was now fine, and stopped racing. My temperature immediately began to adjust, sweating reduced, my thoughts became clearer, and I’m certain my blood pressure returned to its place.
Note that I had not found what was missing, but I had made my body and mind believe we were fine. So half of the problem was solved, all that was left was the actual problem. But because my body had become better, it was easier to pray and think. I kept praying under my breath.
How does this solve the problem?
Here is how: You need to know that the universe belongs to a God bigger than you, bigger than your finite mind. If you don’t believe in God, you must believe that there is a bigger power controlling the universe. Think of it as you giving that power the permission to work in your favour.
JOY IS WAR
While I prayed and laughed, I got a call that my BRP had been found. How? What do you mean? Where? The caller told me that someone was bringing it to me as we spoke. In a few minutes, the BRP arrived. I brought out all the money on me and gave it to the person who had found my BRP to fuel his motorcycle and just to appreciate him. I think part of the money I had was in dollars.
The man rejected all, gave me the BRP, got on his bike and drove off.
As you may imagine, I stood there, dumbfounded. I did not know what to say or do. Did I just see an angel? This kind of man exists in Nigeria?
Anyway, my problem was now totally solved. I could get on that BA Flight to London. I did not get on that flight though, I told everyone I needed one more day to relax in Nigeria and savour the miracle I had just seen. I left for UK the next day.
MARGIN FOR MIRACLES
So what happened was that, when I began to laugh and my mind became clearer, I texted everyone I saw in Nigeria that my BRP was missing. Without my knowledge, one of them called the managers of the mall where we met and they said they found my BRP a day earlier. The person who brought it to me was a staff at the mall.
As simple as this sounds, I’d have missed it, if I followed natural response. I was certain I did not take my BRP out of the hotel, because I did not need it anywhere. But I was wrong, and I would never have found it, if I followed natural response. Or at least, I would not have found it that quickly.
When we break natural response, we leave margins for miracles.
What has become my philosophy, mirrored by the phrase “Joy is war,” is a crystallisation of lessons from My biological father, Ayo Tijani; Tony Onuoha, my pastor; and other influences like Brother Segun Ariyo, Pastor Poju Oyemade, Rev. Sam Adeyemi, Pastor Ola Okelola, just to name the core.
From My dad, I learnt that you should never let your situation determine what you feel now. Sound cliche, but when life kicks, remember this. Many years ago, my father lost a child and went into a praises immediately, breaking natural response. I was in coma for three days in 2009, this man was in high spirits.
Pastor Sam made it clearer when he explained what Jesus said in Matthew 5 and Luke 6; when someone slaps you on the right, turn the left. What that also teaches is: never let the situation determine your response. Pick your response; act, don’t react. If someone slaps you. natural response is slap back. But the ability to break natural response, and choose your own response is the first step in joy is war.
Natural response in the case of losing my BRP was to cry, blame myself, start looking for alternatives, get sad and downcast. And probably lose two weeks and one million naira getting a new one. But what I did was break natural response. Joel 1:12 teaches that “The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth… even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.” What this means is that if Joy did not wither, the trees would not wither. It was because joy withered, that the trees dried.
It doesn’t make sense, I know. But I have handled many situations like this, and the result has always been the same. I could give you 10 more examples, but it would make this piece too long for you. (Maybe I’d write a sequel).
Natural response is that we rejoice when good things happen. But good things will not always happen. This is why I rejoice even when things are not good. That is the war. To stay in joy, to stay happy, to maintain a great mental health against all odds is the war we have to fight constantly!
And that is what I mean when I say Joy is war!
It’s my birthday today, and it’d be great if you share this with someone else as a gift from me to them. Today, I was given as a gift to the world, the gift that keeps on giving.
